I Might Be The Problem

The way this mask appears to show emotion will never stop entertaining me/scaring the crap out of me.

The way this mask appears to show emotion will never stop entertaining me/scaring the crap out of me.

Of the people reading this right now, a handful of you used to read it before the internet knew it existed.  But you knew it under a different name.  You knew it as The Mel Show.  When I decided that more of the world needed to hear even more of my nonsense and opted to buy my url, I found that themelshow.com was taken.  And so off I went in search of a new name. 

I asked for input from friends (It’s Mediocre was the front runner for a very long time) and then one day, it happened.  It happened, as all great things happen, in a conversation with Todd:

Me: I can’t do that tonight because I’ve been invited to tea.

Todd: Ok.  Cool. 

Me: I said TEA.  I don’t even DRINK tea.  Yet I’ve been invited to tea.  I want coffee, quite frankly.  But I don’t know what the protocol is on asking for coffee if the invitation was for tea. 

Todd: You could just order coffee.

Me: Yea, but then I’ve been put in the position where I accepted an invitation for one thing and then turned it into something else.  What if tea has a different meaning than coffee?  What if “let’s go get tea” has one vibe and “let’s go get coffee” has another and I am ruining our plans by ordering coffee?

Todd: I think you could order coffee.

Me: I don’t know why anyone would put me in this situation.  Why not just say LET’S GO TO THIS PLACE AND HAVE THE BEVERAGE OF OUR CHOOSING?  Now I’ve agreed to tea and I don’t even want it.  What kind of person does that?  You know what kind?  A good friend who just wants to hang out with me but I’ve always got to make it into some damned thing.  I…I think I might be the problem. 

And there you have it. 

P.S. I ordered the coffee.  I hope I didn’t ruin it. 

P.P.S. This post is probably kind of a let down to all of the new followers I gained after my last post.  So listen.  Here’s the thing.  I do a lot of this.  There’s nonsense here.  Loads of it.  And in the past I’ve written many things that are NOT nonsense and then said “nope, that’s not what people want to hear from you.  Talk about your underwear some more.”   But you know what?  Turns out I don’t give a single fuck about what people want to hear.  So I’m going to keep saying things.  Some of them might be nonsense and some of them might not be nonsense.  Who knows?  Either way, thanks for being here and validating my weird world.  I appreciate you.


Filed under Conversations with Todd, this is why I shouldn't have friends

10 responses to “I Might Be The Problem

  1. See, I happen to like posts like this. They’re right up my alley. I had a conversation about this very thing once with my husband–he hates coffee, so we were talking about how if someone invited him for coffee, technically, he really can’t accept unless the invitation is made a little more non-specific to allow for the possibility of other beverages. And we haven’t even gotten into the whole issue of, what if you feel like having a little something to eat?

  2. Whoa. Whoa. I come down here to say I like tea but don’t mind when other people have coffee. Unless I have a migraine, in which case, the smell makes me vomit.

    But then I find this new best friend shit. And I would like to remind you that I read ALL SIX THE SWEET LIFE NOVELLAS FOR YOU. Has anyone else ever done such a thing for you? I DIDN’T THINK SO.

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