My mother saves everything, and for this we should all thank her. Let’s not pretend any of us are surprised by this letter, okay?
I have the longest list I have ever made. It is 5 pages long.
I hope those insulting songs about you don’t make you angry.
I hope you have magic. I would like you to rig the toy run I am entering. Not really rig it but just help me win it. I really want to win because I never win anything. And I want it to stay that girls always win. And I really want to win! So please when the people pull the name out make it be me.
And so the seeds of both feminism and consumerism were born.
Merry Christmas, guys. Or Happy Hanukkah. Or Joyous Kwanzaa. Or Happy Festivus. Whatever you celebrate, celebrate with love. We’re all in this together.