My mother saves everything, and for this we should all thank her. Let’s not pretend any of us are surprised by this letter, okay?
Check out my sweet Palmer method.
(click to enlarge)
Dear Santa,
I have the longest list I have ever made. It is 5 pages long.
I hope those insulting songs about you don’t make you angry.
I hope you have magic. I would like you to rig the toy run I am entering. Not really rig it but just help me win it. I really want to win because I never win anything. And I want it to stay that girls always win. And I really want to win! So please when the people pull the name out make it be me.
Love, Melissa
And so the seeds of both feminism and consumerism were born.
Merry Christmas, guys. Or Happy Hanukkah. Or Joyous Kwanzaa. Or Happy Festivus. Whatever you celebrate, celebrate with love. We’re all in this together.
This is way better than the year I wrote “Dear Santa, I haven’t been good. You probably shouldn’t bother.”
Your letter to St. Nick reminds me of a letter I wrote to Christian Slater when I was seven, a letter he never replied to. BUT, my husband is best friends with the guy who threw up all over him in a bar several years ago. Paybacks a bitch, Christian Slater.
No freaking way!! That is awesome…
“Not really rig, just help me win.” Great stuff.