I Don’t Need Any of This. I Want All of This.

Todd and I don’t agree on how to do Christmas. I mean, we both want a tree and presents and a house that smells just like a tree and sometimes cinnamon, but after that we sort of branch off in our own ways. Todd, as far as I can tell, hates joy. When I want to buy the children everything they have ever seen, he comes in and goes “but look, this is what we call a budget. And you have already spent $1000 on them so you have to stop now,” and then I’m like “BUT IT’S CHRISTMAS TODD AND I WANT TO BUY ALL THE THINGS.” We also disagree on gifts for each other. He feels that, as an adult, it is simply practical to just buy what we want for ourselves and then wrap it up and put it under the tree so the children can witness their parents opening presents and their parents, in turn, get exactly what they want. My approach is somewhat different. I want to drop hints all year pointing toward precisely what I want and then be surprised by which of those exact things I end up getting. I like the surprise, is what I’m saying. Yes, I want exactly what I want. But I want exactly what I want without having to come out and say “this is exactly what I want” and I’m not sure WHY that’s so unreasonable.

Last year, I did very well with this disconnect. There was a very specific sewing machine I wanted, so I very specifically said “I WANT THIS EXACT SEWING MACHINE.” And I wanted to learn knit, so we bought some knitting things. And I wanted a new iPhone, so we bought a new iPhone. But then Todd inadvertently ruined his own life by surprising me with a new iPad (an iPad that required a scavenger hunt, which delighted me. I’m seven, FYI) and now I am, once again, delighted by surprises. So he keeps asking me what I want and I keep saying “I want you to buy me whatever you think I would like” and he is probably going to kill me in my sleep because there are only so many shopping days left until Christmas. So I agreed to compromise. I will make a very BIG list, and then I can be surprised by which items from that list that I end up with. And then I will start therapy and learn how to be an adult.

1) iPhone 5

LOOK. It's bigger yet smaller and won't work with any of my current chargers. Need.

LOOK. It’s bigger yet smaller and won’t work with any of my current chargers. Need.

I honestly have no idea how this is different from my iPhone 4, other than the obvious bigger screen/thinner everything else. It’s just the new one so I want it. Plus I have broken the screen on my iPhone 4 five times this year which makes me pretty confident that the iPhone 4 is structurally unsound because there’s no way I did something to break it on five separate occasions. That doesn’t sound like something I would do.

2) New TARDIS case for new iPhone

Not unlike the iPhone 5 itself, the TARDIS is both big and small.

Not unlike the iPhone 5 itself, the TARDIS is both big and small.

My iPhone 4 has a TARDIS skin that looks exactly like this, but Todd seems to think that the lack of protection has a lot to do with all the breaking. So I will agree to a hard case this year, but it must make my new phone look exactly like my current phone, because the whole point of this is to have the exact same phone that I already have except NEWER. So this one by Rikki Knight on Amazon will do just fine. With the white sides, obvs, because I want the phone to be the white one before I cover it with a case so you won’t be able to see what color it is anyway.

3) Michael Kors iPad Saffiano Stand

Pretend this is green.  Or orange, if you must.

Pretend this is green. Or orange, if you must.

This is where I win the iPhone argument, because I have had my iPad for a year with no case and have not broken it once (I never broke my iPhone 3, either, but whatever. Keep blaming me. It’s FINE.) Four days ago or so, I finally found an iPad case/stand that I really like and my search was, I thought, over. See this one? It comes in a really pretty green. Four days ago, that green color was all over the Michael Kors and Neiman Marcus web pages. Now there’s no green to be found. Good one, universe. Back up color? Orange. Since it’s clearly not ME that’s breaking the iProducts, I probably don’t need this. But now that I found it and love it in what is probably a discontinued color, I need it in my life.

4) Michael Kors Golden Oversized Runway Watch

Sir I want to buy this watch, for my Momma please.  It's Christmas Eve and this watch is just her size.

Sir I want to buy this watch, for my Momma please. It’s Christmas Eve and this watch is just her size.

Yes. I do already have almost this exact same watch. But it’s silver and rose and diamondy. I love my watch. My watch is my favorite. Last Mother’s Day, I talked about my watch for a month so that I would get it as a surprise for Mother’s Day, and it worked. So I’m going to talk about that same watch but in a different color for the next couple of weeks because I want another one. So far, my entire list is a variation of things that I already own, and I’m fine with that. And so is Michael Kors. And that is why he keeps making this same watch in different colors every year. Because it’s awesome and we should all have all of them.

(Psst…I want this one, too.)

5) Pottery Barn Classic Terry Robe

This seems like a very grown up robe.  I want a robe who knows what it wants out of life and knows how to get there.

This seems like a very grown up robe. I want a robe who knows what it wants out of life and knows how to get there.

You know how when you put on a hotel terry robe it’s like the perfect terrycloth and the robe is all absorbent when you get out of the shower but also warm if you’re just waking up and throwing it on in the morning? That’s what I’m looking for in a robe. Usually I look at Pottery Barn to feel bad about how poorly put together my house is and then I look at Ikea to see what I can actually afford. But this robe from Pottery Barn seems like the robe I want in my life. I desire a posh terry cloth hotel-like robe. Like a GROWN UP. Plus my initials can be embroidered on this one so nobody can steal it, and that just makes good sense to me.

6) Stark Siblings Women’s Tee Shirt

Even tee shirts single Jon out.  Not cool.

Even tee shirts single Jon out. Not cool.

On the hierarchy of things over which I will completely nerd out, Game of Thrones is right up there with Doctor Who and Harry Potter. My concern over George R.R. Martin’s health is with me always. He tried to break my heart at the end of the fifth book. If something happens to him before he finishes the next two, I’ll pretty much never talk to anyone ever again. This really isn’t important information. I just want this shirt from FencingNArchery on Etsy. It’s cute, no?

7) Apple MacBook Air

The best thing about macs is I work on a pc all day so it will take me twice as long to do anything.

The best thing about Macs is I work on a pc all day so it will take me twice as long to do anything on a Mac.

Every Christmas list needs a hail mary.

(Really I just want my own laptop. I mean, my own that isn’t for work. And that isn’t Todd’s. And isn’t the desktop. We need a fourth computer, basically. And I don’t know anything about laptops or what a laptop should have but this one is also pretty.)

8) Kenny Loggins Signed Guitar

My youth had a soundtrack.  And that soundtrack was played on this guitar.

My youth had a soundtrack. And that soundtrack was played on this guitar.

Oh. Hello, Conversation Piece.

Imagine that you own this. Now imagine the dinner parties. You own this, and you become “that girl with the Kenny Loggins guitar.” Yea. I want to be that girl, too.

9) TOMS

I love how everytime TOMS are mentioned, someone links to that same page that talks about how TOMS are dumb.  Let's do that again in the comments.  It's the best.

I love how every time TOMS are mentioned, people fight.  Over shoes.  Let’s do that again in the comments. It’s the best.

It’s weird to me how people have really strong opinions on TOMS. Yes. I know that their organization isn’t ideal and the one for one structure is recognized by most to suck and blah blah blah. TOMS are my kick around and do whatever shoes. I like them. They are comfortable and the fact that they are ugly makes me happy because you just don’t ever have to wonder if they go with your outfit. They don’t go with any outfit. They’re ugly. And you probably aren’t doing all the good you think you’re doing by buying them. Anyway, I need a new pair. I’d like a pair in black AND ash this time. Size 6.5. At least they’re not UGGS, you know?

10) Robot Maid From the Future

This actually IS a Cogswell Cog, I think.

Looks an awful lot like a Cogswell Cog, doesn’t it?

The first year Todd and I lived together, I really wanted a new vacuum. So for Christmas we bought an expensive vacuum. That thing sucks. It breaks pretty much all the time. But the little button that sucks the cord back up when you’re done using it is pretty fun. This has no cord, but does possibly have the ability to emote. I’m not sure. All I know is it means I don’t have to vacuum. And I can refer to it as my robot maid, which I have wanted to do pretty much my whole life because the Jetsons promised we’d have them by now. So I would like a robot maid and also a real maid, please.

11) New Tattoo

No regrets.

No regrets.

I made myself a promise awhile back that I wouldn’t get any new tattoos until I had gone through the pain and expense of removing my existing tattoos because that’s how you’re supposed to learn lessons, or something. But really, I’m a 34 year old mother of two. My hip and back are exposed to the world like twice a year, and I’m not exactly the only mid-thirties mom hitting the beach with the Japanese character for “regret” permanently emblazoned on her lower back. So I would like a new tattoo in a far more obvious place because I obviously make good decisions. I’m not sure how you give a tattoo to someone for Christmas, but I’m rarely worried about what others will have to go through to get me what I want. So there’s that.

Oh. And also? I made you guys some stuff for Christmas, too. You just have to pay for it first. You’re Welcome.

Cuckoldry and Christmas Ladies Tee – This tee shirt is expensive. I put it on this particular tee shirt because this is the tee shirt I would wear. It can go on all the other, less ridiculously expensive versions too, though.

Put Your Mouth On This Mug – I have a coffee mug at work and the design is on the wrong side and so when I drink coffee it looks like I have a really boring plain white coffee mug to everyone else and so they all probably have no idea that my mug is delightful and so am I. You will not have that problem here. Lookit. Goes all the way around, my design. And not because I didn’t know how to resize it, either. I totally know what I’m doing here.

128 Comments

Filed under Conversations with Todd, I should be taking this a bit more seriously

128 responses to “I Don’t Need Any of This. I Want All of This.

  1. Why is this shirt not in my life right now? And why does it have to come into existence at a time when I have to be spending my money on other people? Please remind me about it in January.

  2. I sincerely hope you get the Clay Aiken tattoo that your heart desires for Christmas.

  3. Three things.
    1. Your links don’t work for me. Is it because I’m internet stupid again?
    2. I also wear a size 6-6.5 shoe (occasionally a 5.5, even). Clearly we’re solemates. Get it? I know, bad pun.
    3. I can’t believe you wear hotel bathrobes. We’re going to have to have an extended conversation about this.

    • 1) Oh good. I was just putting the computer away to start cleaning. Now I can fix links instead. All or some?
      2) This has been clear for some time now.
      3) I do. And if (when) I spill something on them, I make them bring me a new one.

  4. You are not a child for wanting a thoughtful surprise present at Christmas. This is perfectly valid and you shouldn’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

    • Everyone likes thoughtful surprises as gifts, of course! But it is childish–sorry, but it is–to expect anyone to read your mind. Just use your words and *ask* for what you want. Then they can have the satisfaction of knowing they have perfectly fulfilled your wishes and you will (to put a real fine point on it here) GET WHAT YOU WANT. That’s the whole point, right? ;-)

      • See, I don’t see it as mind-reading so much as paying attention to the things your loved one shows interest in. If I’m just going to point to something and say, “Buy me that,” then he might as well just give me cash and I’ll buy it myself. Which is really no fun at all.

  5. Funny!! The Pottery Barn robe does look nice though…can’t deny that. ;) Congrats on being FP!

  6. I love this! And what a nice present, being Freshly Pressed!

  7. My husband and I have the same (or similar) gift-giving dynamic. My hinting must not be obvious enough though because I never get surprised by receiving some of the things I hinted at. I get surprised by receiving completely different things. Loved this post.

  8. This list is ridiculous, but part of me wants every single thing you mentioned as well. I try to fight it, but it never works. I guess it is good that I simply can’t afford most of the things I want!

  9. Nice list you’ve put together. Really enjoyed your post :)

    – Sam

  10. I’m putting that t-shirt on my list!

  11. I want a Macbook Air too. Is it so wrong to want expensive pieces of machinery at Christmas? (Answer: no. No, it’s not.)

  12. Todd, as far as I can tell, hates joy. When I want to buy the children everything they have ever seen, he comes in and goes “but look, this is what we call a budget. And you have already spent $1000 on them so you have to stop now,” and then I’m like “BUT IT’S CHRISTMAS TODD AND I WANT TO BUY ALL THE THINGS.”

    Um, what?

  13. I feel you. There are also countless things I wish I could have. At least you’re freshly pressed. :P

  14. I think TOMS are the UGGS of the loafer world, you either love them or hate them. I’m fairly indifferent either way. :)

  15. Dam Iphone 5 got me :). Did i need it ?nope

  16. Have you considered adding a rugged Otterbox case to your list?

  17. Hannah Burke

    Great post, had me in stitches because my partner and I are EXACTLY the same! And your list is identical to mine, hope you get what you want!

  18. sortaginger

    You had me until I got to the TOMS. And this is coming from someone who used to like to wear Crocs everywhere (emphasis on USED TO).

  19. My guy and I have the same gifting issue. I like to surprise and be surprised and he wants a detailed list with hyperlinks, pictures, and pricing information. If I was going to put that much work into picking out a wish list, I’d have just bought it myself lol.

  20. So funny. Yes, we want things because they are new and special and make us feel special. Plus being “surprised” by the perfect gift at xmas is sooo great.
    My hubby and I are pretty much exactly as you described in your opening. I drop good hints all year and he buys his own xmas presents and then gives them to me to wrap. We both get what we want, but the feeling is not in it for me if he already knows. I guess we each have our own way of creating christmas cheer.

    • Yes! That is it exactly. I hate buying for him exactly what he’s listed or, worse, him buying it and me just wrapping it up. I like giving the surprise gift just as much as I like getting the surprise gift. Where’s all the fun Christmas morning anticipation if you already know what’s in the box?

      • Yes, and further to that, they’ve spent their own money on it…. so it’s not even a surprise that you got something they wanted and you found it on sale, or spent way too much on it, but felt like it was deserved.
        Great Gravatar photo too!

  21. My husband’s childhood was sprinkled with excess and my own was weighted more in wishes than presents. For this reason, and so many others, we tend to dance around carefree indulgences with deceptively choreographed chaos as we compromise how much and what to gift one another and our children. Secretly, I always want to be surprised with a wish I kept to myself.

  22. javaj240

    OMG… Now I need the Stark Siblings t-shirt! Ugh!

  23. EPIC post. I couldn’t really think of anything I wanted until I read this. Now I want ALL THE THINGS.

    I just sold some TOMS on ebay, not because I didn’t like them but because they were just slightly too small. Now I want them in ash for Christmas.

    I also want uggs. Don’t judge.

    And an iRobot.

    And that watch. (I drooled.)

  24. My mom got a robot maid for Christmas a few years ago and she loves it. Unless it broke. Then I guess she mourns its death.
    All of the animals in the house and I are afraid of the robot maid. But it is pretty cool because it knows how to go back to its charger home.
    This is funny.

  25. Great post! I laughed out loud and totally connected with your writing. I also love love love that Stark siblings shirt! I MUST have it. Word to the wise about the bathrobe–they weight a lot! I got rid of mine because it was soooo heavy!

  26. Hahaha! Your iPhone commentary is so true…

  27. I like the iPhone part myself! Hope you enjoy your Christmas time!

  28. I hope you get the thing you really really want!

  29. Bridget

    Although I am opposed to the commercialism, I cannot deny your post was very entertaining and I read it all the way to the end with my eyes growing wider and wider. How about some nice soap and a pair of gloves? :)

  30. strawberryquicksand

    Happy Christmas to you! I hope at least one of those items has percolated through your husband’s subconcious and he gravitates towards it whilst at the mall doing his Christmas shopping!

  31. I feel like this kind of “needing” caused the recession. Gift giving doesn’t have to be this extravagant (your list is quite large). I think society needs to remember that it’s all just stuff at the end of the day.

    • Caused the . . . . Redterrain, do you have any idea at all what caused the recession? I mean, this isn’t “opinion” territory, we have actual facts and data that indicate what caused the recession. People spending money didn’t cause the recession. Please learn about something called supply and demand.

      • “but look, this is what we call a budget. And you have already spent $1000 on them so you have to stop now,” and then I’m like “BUT IT’S CHRISTMAS TODD AND I WANT TO BUY ALL THE THINGS.”

        She’s stated they over over their budget.

        Credit caused the recession. Obviously.

        • sj

          I think (maybe) to properly appreciate this post, one must understand the concepts of both humour and hyperbole.

          • Definitely! Though I hardly see the exaggeration here. We share opposite opinions on this, and I’m ok with that.

            Recession information for you to take a look at Greengeekgirl. Maybe you too can learn…

        • Weird that she never said anything about credit, though.

          Explaining a joke is no fun. But you don’t seem to give up, so we’ll do this once: a family budget can occur entirely within the funds that family earns. Sometimes that family may go over budget here or there and, since they are living completely within their means, this overage is covered by adjusting another column for one week to cover it.
          Example: “oh, my! I want to buy a new unicycle this week but my unicycle budget is already tapped! I suppose I could borrow that from savings or put off buying my new monocle until next month and use my monocle budget on this unicycle and not cause the recession, though.”

          • I’m coming from the perspective of….less is more. Christmas to me is not about getting gifts. That was my point. I could have been more clear in my wording. This post just rubbed me the wrong way, just like my opinion of it rubs a few others the wrong way. I guess you don’t see that it’s materialistic, like I do. Most of the comments on here are lusting over objects on this list.

        • You really need to learn to understand 1) economics and 2) satire. For srs. Also, going over budget =/= using credit. My husband and I have a budget that includes a decent amount of our income going into savings. If we go “over” budget, that means we have less cash to put into savings, not that we have to apply for copious amounts of credit. (We have very good credit, so, managing credit is not something I’m unfamiliar with.)

          I’m not reading the rest of the comments from you, nor watching any videos, because I’ve already decided you’re not really worth my time ;)

  32. The new iPhone 5 comes with much better Applecare! I can’t say that the other upgrades are doing much for me but at least I’m not worrying about dropping it in the toilet anymore.

  33. I know the feeling, especially when it comes to tech. If I had the money, I´d be an `early adopter´, not iPhone, though!

  34. Brice Beede

    How one gives a tattoo for christmas…I have a friend that will abduct you and tattoo you against your will. Even what the tattoo is can be a surprise.

  35. I accidentally just bought that t-shirt. I’ll be wrapping it up and putting it under the tree for myself. It’ll make me feel better about buying it when I shouldn’t have.

  36. MySoCalledLifeSigh

    Not sure if you heard, but the PB robe is on back order, and won’t be available until April 2013. I guess you won’t get surprised with that one. You’re a great writer. This was very entertaining.

  37. Reblogged this on Shameless Narcissist and commented:
    This is exactly how I feel

  38. I love that TARDIS case. Putting it on my list :) Thanks!

  39. Want the Stark shirt. Waaaaaant.

    Happy Freshly Pressed to you! Whoo-hoo!

    I made a random list for my family. Then I’m going to buy myself all the things when they all go on sale after Christmas…because that’s what I always do. I’m filled with weirdness.

  40. I would love an iPhone too. And a Swarovski jacket for it.
    And about those TOMS, i feel the same way about my new UGG boots. I don’t like how they look but they are so comfy and warm, I just want to fit into one when I feel cold.
    Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!

  41. Honesty is always refreshing. I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about this post…but it’s comic allure was tugging at me and then… GoT t-shirt won me over in an instant. All defenses shot. I don’t know if you’re a reader or watcher or both… but you HAVE heard the theory about Jon, haven’t you???

    • I’m staking everything I have on that theory being true. It’s all that will get me through these hard times.

      • Same, yo. I assume we’re talking about the “what happens to him next” theory and not the “who his parents REALLY are” theory. But I am actually hoping both are true. And also that he will leap forth from the pages and make me his bride.

        • Hahaha, Michele…I’m still too overcome with mourning a certain other character {SPOILER- never can be too careful cuz peeps get pissed over this stuff!} who as yet is still around on the TV version to give a thought to Jon’s marriageability… and I’m a die-hard supporter of both theories. Why can’t Martin give us a nifty little wait end date like HBO?

  42. Oh pish posh. Being an adult is boring!

    I don’t have kids though I’m sure that my husband will say the same thing. I’m already doing it with our goddaughter and both him and the mother are like, “STOP IT. SHE HAS ENOUGH.” oh quit pissing on my parade! I’d rather buy her things now versus when she’s 15 and wants something ridiculously expensive.

  43. This made me laugh, several times. I would pay someone a significant amount of money to get a Clay Aiken tattoo.

  44. So glad I got directed to your blog because you were Freshly Pressed, congrats! :) Also, if you want to get a better iPhone case, i personally prefer Speck (double-layered) cases. They’re slim, sleek, and pretty! Choose your colors accordingly. I was also planning on making a specialized Batman/cupcake gel skin to place over my cover so I can be display my obsessions proudly :P http://www.gelaskins.com

  45. Zii

    I’m sorry, but this post made me think again about how materialistic Christmas is and why there is no joy in it for me. I support giving presents to others, but it doesn’t have to be equated to december month. Other than that, congradulations of FP.

  46. Yes to Toms. My 21-year old daughter introduced me to them this year. Where have they been all my life? I am 47 years old, a professional woman who does yoga. Yes, I know the two don’t go together but i’m too old to care and the adrenalin rush of each gives me a kick in a different place. I ordered a pair of Toms in a sort of American Indian style fabric as a Christmas present to myself. They don’t even match each other, never mind match any of my clothes but I LOVE THOSE SHOES! Because they match my life. I am getting another pair for New Year

  47. shyabanshi

    First of all, congrats on the FP! I love your running commentary :D And wow, I do have that TARDIS skin for my phone too! It’s for Samsung Galaxy though, but the one and the same.

  48. Now how did you swing that? I wrote a Dear Santa blog a ways back and have received NO indication of any forthcoming Christmas gifts.
    Ah me, #firstworldproblems

  49. This post is amazing! I laughed so many times. I hope you always stay as youthful as you sound, and i hope you get your presents!
    Maybe you could even “accidentally” paste this link to somewhere your husband will see it. Or handily leave your home computer open on this page…
    Anyways, Well done for being freshly pressed!

  50. I think I want that robe. No one would buy a robe that expensive for me, though. Actually, I can’t justify that expense for a robe. But I want that robe, with just my first initial on it. I’m due for a phone upgrade. iPhone5? I just don’t know. The iPhone 4 is 99cents. But now I’m worried it will break. hmmm. Great post by the way, congrats on Fressly Pressed, Now I must re-do my Christmas list — to no one.

  51. Reblogged this on V 'n V's Girl Talk!! and commented:
    The TOMS are totally adorable!!

  52. WAIT, tell me the dark truth about TOMS shoes. I’m so sad now. :( I asked for a pair for xmas because I thought they were happy hippie treehugger shoes.

  53. rachelbeginshere

    you are hilarious. this was my first time reading, i’m officially hooked!

  54. I saw the photo of the brown canvas TOMS and freaked out.. I’m wearing mine right now! Great post, thanks for sharing. It really got me in the Christmas mood and added a few more things to my list ;) haha congrats on being Freshly Pressed! Keep it coming!

  55. troismommy

    Great list! I have no idea what I want, besides things that we really shouldn’t be buying now. Oh, wait – I remember! I want a new washer and dryer and an indoor laundry room again. :D

  56. The Coastal Living Mom

    Haha! So funny! The holidays can be hard to manage while being thrifty! Good luck! lol

  57. You are incredible!! I`ll definitely keep ready your posts!!

    Ioana
    //daintynotes.wordpress.com

  58. I really like this Todd’s way of doing things, he seems to have a good practical manly approach to Christmas, I always hated as a child how everyone would try and show each other up for the holidays when I was a kid. I would prefer just getting a stocking full of walnuts and lemons. Or something practical. But you guys seem dynamic none the less. Where I work at http://www.playgroundentertainmentgroup.com we really try and teach kids how to have good values through song and dance, but what do I know, I just try and forget the holidays.

  59. WELL DONE. I’M LEAING CAPITOLS IN. CHEACK OUT: Skyrim Extract 3, Skyrim Extract 2 and Skyrim Extrac 1. PLEZ. THEY’ RE GOOD. HAHA, THE TARDIS CASE.

  60. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed and hope you get everything on your list for Christmas

  61. I love this! What a creative title. :)

  62. This is hysterically funny and the exact battle I have with my husband. He keeps saying “she’s 9 months old! She won’t even remember her first Christmas!” to which I reply, “You are Satan.”

    • I’m of the opinion that spoiling a kid, within reason, is fine. When I was a kid, Christmas was the one day of the year where every second was happy. It didn’t matter if, the day before, your best friend tricked you into repeatedly jumping into piles of dog shit (true story) because on this ONE DAY everything was awesome. There is plenty that goes into that besides presents. (And neither I nor my children will get everything we want. But we will have gifts thoughtfully selected from among those wants to enjoy) So sure, there will be presents. And also family, traditions, songs (for others, religion, if it suits you). But my goal is to give them that ONE DAY where everything is right. You have your family with you and a living room full of the things you’ve pined for all year. You may go back to school in a week and have to deal with the class you’re failing or the kid who calls you names for no good reason, but you forget all about that at Christmas because you are overwhelmed with the joy of having all the plastic baubles from your dreams and your family to enjoy them with. For me, it is a retreat from everything, and I’m happy to make it happen.

      I had a point. Something about spoiling them for one day not ruining their entire character for the rest of the year. Got off track somewhere.

      • I am really sorry about the dog shit. But, I completely agree with you. Sometimes, spoiling (on occasion) is a very obvious way to show kids how much you love them. I am not saying that communicating love through buying ALL OF THE THINGS is the way to parent, but sometimes, spoiling them is just fine. I am a new mother, and I know as my daughter gets older, and we had more kids to the family, Christmas will be a bit different (less quiet, mostly). But, the first Christmas means something to me. Anyway, I liked your post. :)

  63. The title of this post is what I say every time I get an Uncommon Goods catalog. Hilarious!

  64. brenttzu

    i kinda feel like you’re my alter ego // we have the same wants! lols, this blog by the way is cool! am new here and i’d love to comeback often to read on things and stuffs and your antics :)

    • Thanks :) Come by as often as you like. I have grand plans of updating far more frequently so there should be literally DOZENS of posts this year with excuses for why I haven’t. I’m good like that.

      An aside: your Christmas list is comprised entirely of various cars. The next hater who comes in here telling me how materialism like mine is ending the world is getting sent DIRECTLY to you. You’re welcome for the traffic, and I apologize for the fight that will come with it.

  65. Hey man, nice post…
    I love how you gave everything a humoristic approach. E.g. the iphone and macbook.
    Anyways if you wanna read more about unnecessary gadgets or you still need to find x-mas gifts feel free to check out my blog: http://amazingstuffyouwant.wordpress.com/
    It’s all about stuff like this.
    Cheers and keep up the good work,
    Ced

  66. May you get all that you want :)))

  67. …Merry Christmas! May you get it all…if you get an extra robe, can you send them my way?…

  68. I think the TOMS may be the problem! They get even uglier as you wear them….just donate a pair of shoes directly to the needy…congrats on the fp!

  69. Oh mercy! This is my life. I am really laughing out loud. My husband and I have the same quarrels. I want to buy our son everything, and he looks at me like I’m crazy for wanting to give him all he asks for. He never seems to get my gifts right, no matter how “black and white” my list may be. I could tell him the exact price, store, and time of day he should shop and I would still end up with something I didn’t want. This year I told him that I don’t want anything! Just give me the cash after Christmas and let me get what I want. :)

  70. thisfunnylittlethingcalledlife

    Loved this! Christmas shopping can be so stressful, I’m using the Mayan calendar as my excuse for putting the Christmas shopping on the long finger (see blog) haha. It will get done in the end…Happy Christmas!

  71. Great list! I too want some of those items on your list (the obvious tech/accessories) but I would have to say you are not missing out on the roomba :P

  72. handokoajiwardana

    Reblogged this on Handoko Aji Wardana.

  73. People always laugh at the Roomba because it sounds like a laziest thing in the world. And it is! But it will change your life – and the carpet under your bed.

  74. Seems like an awfully materialistic post. What about the intangibles?

  75. Hopefully you get everything you mentioned but I also really want a Michael Kors Watch in Rose Gold, I’d take anything else on your list though. Super fun.

  76. I have had the exact same conversation with my partner for the past few years. I also want every single thing on your list. Well, except the tattoo – though the world is supposedly ending soon so maybe it’s time to mix things up and get some Mayan skin art in preparation?

  77. that is quite the list! i hope you are really surprised :)
    p.s.- my boyfriend and i opted to make donations to our favorite charity this year instead of giving gifts to one another, but next year i am totally taking your idea!!! merry christmas!

  78. Pingback: It has been like over a month but I AM BACK and with only maybe a couple hours before the end of the world! | bluepearlgirl's world

  79. totally agree that you don’t need any of that. i’m more like your husband. if i want or need anything, i will go out and get it myself.

  80. Pingback: Portrait of a Young Manipulator | I Might Be The Problem

  81. kai

    I laughed my head off reading this. Hope you got everything you wanted this Christmas!!

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