Every once in a while, I find a way to prove that I’m not, actually, insane. I had just such an opportunity this week, and I was terrified and then so incredibly relieved and triumphant, in that order. Our story begins as I was talking to my husband (where all the accusations of insanity begin):
Todd: Why do you keep looking at my face. What’s on my face?
Me: There’s nothing on your face. I’m talking to you, so I’m looking at you.
Todd: Yea, but you keep looking away from eyes and then looking down at my face.
Me: That’s because prolonged eye contact is uncomfortable. If you stare at someone’s eyes for too long, they start to look like a monster.
Todd: There’s something wrong with you. I mean…that’s not normal.
Me: That’s never happened to you? Where you’re having a long conversation with someone and then suddenly you’re looking at a monster’s face? And the face is like in a tunnel and you can’t see anything around them, just their monster face? Because it happens to me all the time.
Todd: No. That’s never happened to me. I really don’t think that’s supposed to happen.
Me: I’m pretty sure it happens to everyone. When you stare at someone too long, their face changes. It changes into a monster.
Todd: Oh, fuck. No. That doesn’t happen to everyone. I’m googling this.
So, as most discussions are wont to do, a silence enveloped us as we googled. Until:
Me: HA. Troxler Effect, mother fucker.
And then I had to show him what I was reading because he didn’t believe I had found a reputable source, and then I had to take it one step further and put it into practice. Here’s a fun takeaway for you, if you want to really hate and terrify yourself at the same time:
Step 1) Get a mirror.
Step 2) Dim the lights.
Step 3) Look at yourself in the mirror for ten minutes. Set a timer so you don’t have to check the clock. Keep eye contact with yourself, if you can.
Step 4) Enjoy your nightmares.
Todd tried this after me (because I told him “I think I just saw the future” and he wanted to see the future, too) and he said nothing happened. So not only am I NOT crazy, but we learned that his brain clearly doesn’t work right. Pretty good day for me.